OK admit it, you’re trash. You’re a constantly growing pile of lukewarm garbage basking in the sun on a hot summer’s day. Nothing you do is cool and everyone knows it. Try to think of the last time you did something dope, and then realize how trash it actually was. You’ve been trying to convince yourself otherwise, but now you’re painfully aware of how much you have in common with the Great Pacific garbage patch, except that the garbage patch will actually have a lasting effect on the planet. Unlike you. Because you’re trash.
But now that you’re down in the dumps, let’s go over a few ways you can maybe prevent yourself from becoming inspiration for that kid from American Beauty:
Clean Yourself Up
Just stop being such a piece of shit in general. Clean up your room, make your bed, quit living like a goddam savage. Take all of your trash clothes and burn them in a sacrifice to the fire gods. Cut your shitty hair into something that doesn’t look like a troll doll does after that kid with daddy issues from down the street borrows it. Start trying to be just the slightest bit healthier. I mean, is it really necessary to eat that fifth piece of cake? Of course it’s your right as an American, but just realize we’re not all staring at you because we’re impressed. Just remember that your image is everything, no matter what the last inspirational quote your step-mother posted to Facebook says.
Do Something Interesting
Find something you actually care about and just go after it. Doesn’t matter if it’s music, fashion, porn, science or a combination of the 4 (seriously though hmu if that’s the case I have some ideas I want to run by you). You could even learn to write jingles. Nothing is better than spending a day doing only shit you want to do. Who cares if you’re shitty at it, you’re already trash!
Do Something Valuable
Take what you love and do something different with it. Everything is all the same and it makes people want to kill themselves. Do something that stands out from the crowd, something that’s unique. It’s dope that you finally got that bed squeak sample to add to your next festival trap banger, but probably just give up on it at this point.
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Realize You’re Still Trash
Even if you’re killing it, eventually you’re gonna get sick of what you’re doing. Take a step back, and recognize what you’re all about has reverted back to an environmental hazard.
Repeat
Don’t let yourself fall back down the trash vortex into your original form of the garbage patch. A lot of the stuff you’ve done up to this point was actually pretty dope. Identify what’s fire and get rid of the rest, because if it’s not fire, it’s trash. Google some pictures of the Great Pacific garbage patch and realize you don’t want that to be the image you see in the mirror every morning. Almost everyone alive is trash.
But under the right conditions, a huge pile of hot garbage can become fire instantly.
*The author of this is certified trash and has no idea what he’s actually talking about